Posted by on November 19, 2016

Image result for 2 seconds stopwatchTry it yourself: The next time someone asks you a question, or requests your feedback, pause two seconds before responding.  That is it!  That alone will boost your communication skills and chances of people listening to your message.  Here is more on how master this effective communication technique:

You have to know that silence is awkward.  People do not like or want silence in a conversation.  So when you leave a 2 second pause in conversation, they might try to fill it themselves, which means less talking time for you.  However, when you speak you will get more attention.

Do not let people feel that something is wrong.  So, do not look distressed.  Look comfortable.  Maybe an assuring smile will help the receiver be at ease against this technique that is rarely used.  Another thing you can do to reverse the awkwardness is when you speak start with a positive statement as an intro to what you are going to say.  This will further get the receiver more open to the message you have.

In a group setting, when a member of the group finishes talking and you want to say something leave a two second pause. In most cases, someone else will start speaking before you.  That might be irritating in the beginning but you better get used to it if you use this technique.  But the reward will be more attention from the group when you speak, or they might ask you to give your input.  In both cases you will have the floor uninterrupted when you do share your thoughts.

There are three added bonuses to the pause.  1) The sender gets a chance to say more if he feels the need to do so.  People will not listen to you if they have not finished speaking.  2) They feel that you are thinking about what they said and not resisting it, which will help them accept what you have to say. 3) You have a chance to think about what you are about to say and say it effectively.

To master the pause, take a deep calm breath before speaking.  That becomes the pause in a very natural way.  The added bonus is that your inhale will give a feeling to the receiver that you are thinking hard about what they said and what  you are about to say.  The more chance you will be listened to tentatively.

Do not try to talk more to become an effective speaker.  Sometimes speaking less,  listening to what is being said, and pausing to grasp what was said and getting ready to respond are far more important.

Some disagree, and believe that  you should be yourself and not use these manipulation techniques.  Like everything else in life, you can use the pause for good or for evil purposes.  I hope you use it to effectively communicate and make this world a better place.

 

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